Last night i cried like crazy, i don't know why.. but this feeling hurts so much. it's like this world is against me and they are killing me badly. it's like a blade slice your skin... i felt apart over and over again, i've been betrayed too many times by what people called it Love. Love is a Bitch.

i fucking tell myself do not cry again for this stupid thing! but i can't deny it, this heart broken into million pieces like the last time i felt.. it cames back and it haunting me. I hate it! I hate myself! I hate being like this! everytime when i started to think that you are the one, you just walk away.. and left me with no reason and never turn back. i'm Fucked up, I couldn't say a word except that, i want to say I HATE YOU for making me like this, for crushing my heart, for burn down my tears... for...... sigh* But then i can't speak out cause i know I love you...

when someone tell you, it will be okhay, everything will be okhay... the fact is... it won't.
i hated my heart for trusting and loving u till its betrayed me, maybe your heart still lying, or is it true? you have forgotten me this fast.. and without give me any clear reason you ignore me. the great time we had... will never exist for you isn't it?
it's all bullshit isn't it?
haha.. i'm just the fool who didn't know that this gonna happened. you are truly pain in the ass.. you make me fall for you and now.. you're gone.

I love you but I hate you.....

Wah can't believe it's 2010 already! i think i'd already left the past behind and now going to walk with a smile and start my new chapter in this year, I hope i find someone great and love me as i love them. If possible i'm going to married next year. LOL sounds so kanciong! ofcourse i have to merid before 2012! this world is about to end, rememberrrrr???

Okhay now talk about happy new year, i would like to share some story here.. are you ready?

so in NYE, actually we'd plan we're going to party in the sky at swissbell hotel, but then it's nine o'clock already and victim in the car include: me, marlina, natalie and darnila.
we're just about to head to cambridge tower when someone called, one of our besties Christine. she said she's at home already, so we decided to pick her up first then just headed to Cambridge lorh. Her home is at Cemara Asri, in the middle of journey we stucked! it's starting to jammed and we thought we can still made it before 12, that time it's already nine o'clock. But then we're wrong. it's almost twelve and we still stucked there, FUCK NOT? i don't even want to talk that time i felt stupid and so angry, besides i'm damn hungry cause haven't dine wad..
I don't even want to imagine lah must spent new year in the car, OMG! other besties are already waitin at cemara asri, they took a shortcut to there, we're just so stupid none from four of us remembered about the shortcut way! Dumbass!



took a silly pictures eventho we're stucked like fuck!

in the end... you know what we do?

we parked our car at the place where there's an indoor Football. luckily there's no car there, so we parked there and guess what? WE WALKED!
fuck! 20 minutes to cemara by walking, passed all the crowded and dirty smoke, ashes and the people. they all lookin at us, but we don't care at all.. keep walking and walking.
till we witnessed a couple felt down into a moat. OMFB! damn terrible can?? i mean it should be their worst nightmare in this new year.

finally!! we reached there right on 12! HAHAHA damn chio! so we still have an opportunity to said HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HUG EACH OTHER. so when we reached and met Christine and Nike, we went to Christine's house to had some foods which we ordered already.
so here we go:



haha, everyone ate like they don't care each other already.. madly hungry lorh!
photo credits to Christine.

after that we had some chitchat and took a photos:











Love my besties! so funny lorh seriously when i flash back to that night. LOL

after ate, back to took our car and headed to my home, cause there's another SANGWO party. what a crazy night we had! for this year we should be planning from the first, hope we fly to singapore and have a New year together this year. xoxo.

there's the story hope you enjoy it! :D

misc:



saturday went out with besties again, <3





me and lil sis



mom and lil sis

attended my relative wedding party on monday.

okhay then, that's it for today. i'll come back soon!


If i'm not lazy....
ah ya HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
signing out now...


The M left